You cannot see me!
You will never know my secrets!
I like macaroni.
Words from the Underground

By Shvotz

Last updated 6/20/01 Greetings, puny cretins. This is Shvotz, your voice for the above underground, here to give you the secrets THEY wont give you. First, a little background....

Shvotz, of course, is not my real name. It is my alias so THEY wont find me. Who exactly are THEY? No one knows for sure, but I am pretty sure it involves the government in some way. Many may be involved in the conspiracy, but will deny being the sellouts that THEY are. Bert and Terry may be in on the conspiracy as well, but I dont know if THEY are. I cant just right out ask them for THEY will turn me in.

What is the conspiracy that THEY have in store for us? The destruction of Shvotz, aka, ME. THEY have always been after me trying to silence me. THEY have tried many different tactics, such as the time THEY replaced my regular peanut butter with chunky, thus making eating even harder than before. Or the time THEY put a stick, a rather large one at that, in my bike spokes and made me fall over.

But THEY cant silence me forever. And THEY cant silence you either. You can speak out for me againts THEM. Pass my secrets along.

THEY will not defeat us!

And now, the secrets THEY dont want you to know...

  • puncuation is unnecessary. it is actually a method used by THEM. THEY use it as a code. the comma is code for destruction of the secrets THEY have that may leak out.

  • male nipples are also unnecessary. THEY use them for tracking devices. and when someone pinches you and twists them, THEY are involved in the conspiracy. the pinching sends a signal back at the home base in flint, michigan.

  • when other international countries write the date wrong (instead of month/day/year, THEY do it day/month/year), THEY are involved with the massive conspiracy. but THEYre intentions are good....THEY are actually trying to establish 31 months full of 12 day years. think about that.




    the conspiracy lives on....