June 8, 2001
Big Willie's Party

Big Willie's Party


        In honour of Will's birthday, and also Nate D's birthday, there was a big party at Big Willie's house in Cottage Grove. Bert and Shvotz attended, and took pictures, which you will eventually be able to see, once we get a scanner that works.
        The party was a lot of fun. There was food, drinks, a big fire, and best of all: a trampoline. Bert spent a lot of time on the trampoline. It seemed like everyone was there, too. The music started off bad (it was mostly rap), but after a couple hours some cool ska and punk started to show up. At one point, the cops were called, but no one was ticketed. He just told us to "stay safe." Once the scanner works, you can see a badly shot photo of the cop.
        The fire was cool. We would throw assorted things in there, but the event didn't heat up until Curt Reidl threw a book into it. A book he'd stolen from an English teacher called Mr. Cairns. After that, people started throwing in old school papers and such. At midnight Bert, Shvotz, Willie, Tony, and other assorted folks threw in everything they could all at once, and the fire became VERY big and VERY hot. Bert still thinks his face was slightly melted.
        As for the trampoline, well, plenty of fun stuff happened there. First, there was the usual jumping and such and such, which was fun and cool. Later, Bert went in there to try and talk to Nick Heckman and Jennie Hinrichs, but they ignored him. (That part wasn't fun OR cool, but the next thing is) Later, Bert, Shvotz, and Matt Donovan were jumping, and when Matt left, Bert and Shvotz decided to have a wrestling match. THAT was fun. Originally a last-man-standing match, it eventually turned into a regular pinfall match. They did all sorts of interesting maneuvers, and in the end, Shvotz won, but Bert still contests. Here's what happened: Shvotz had Bert pinned down by sitting on him. After "1, 2," Bert kicked out, but just barely got his shoulder up. Shvotz claimed that the shoulder never came up. So, since Bert was about to die, he decided to let Shvotz continue thinking he won. But rest assured, Bert will have a re-match with Shvotz someday, and Bert will definitely win.
        Well, those were the highlights of Big Willie's party. I hope you enjoyed them. Bert and Shvotz feel like losers cuz most of the party people ignored them. But anyway, Bert and Shvotz are used to that. Ahh well, byebye now, kids.



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