June 6, 2001


        It was Bert's last day of work at Subway. He was in a good mood. But what did he find out the second he walked in the door to begin his shift? He found out that someone defacated (in layman's terms: took a sh_t) in the frickin' urinal! Now, it was Bert's last day, so there was no way he was gonna deal with that crap (pardon the pun). Fortunately for Bert, Jonathan (the new kid) showed up an hour later for his last day of training. So, what did Bert do? He did the right thing: He made the new kid do it. But the new kid didn't seem too upset about it. Yes, he was pissed about having to clean up that crap (pun again), but he just did as he was told. Ahh, if only everyone was as obedient as he....

        Now, I bet you're wondering how he cleaned it up. Well, this next paragraph will explain every detail. First, he found a long piece of wood outside and broke off a piece that was probably about a foot long. Then he put on some very thick gloves (that belonged to Subway, hehehe), grabbed a large cup, and ventured into the bathroom. The stench was overpowering and he almost gave up right away, but he got over it and went on in. He carefully used the wood as a shovel-type contraption and scooped the poop (like the rhyme? so do I) into the cup. He then ran out of the store in a big, big hurry and dumped (so many puns...) the cup with the wood still in it into the dumpster out back. All in all, it was a learning experience for everyone. Except Bert. For him, it was a sickening experience. The only thing left to do was (time for one last pun) find the a-hole responsible for this.

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